The Slushies Battle

The worst mistake Kurt could ever make was telling the Brightman twins that he used to be slushied by the bullies back at McKinley.

“You mean they threw real slushies at you?” asked Ethan, thrilled.

“Uhm… yes” replied Kurt, a bit worried by the looks they were exchanging.

“Don’t worry, Alice. You’ll be safe here at Dalton” added Evan with a mischievous grin.

Then the Tweedles turned and went upstairs toward their room.

“I have a very bad feeling about this” mumbled Kurt.


In their room the twins picked up the phone and called their private agent, careful not to be heard by Charlie, that guy was always able to discover every prank they planned.

“Hey, Mike! What’s up?” started Evan.

“We have a job for you!” continued Ethan, “we need, at least, twenty slushie-machines by the end of the morning” he ordered.

“Do whatever it takes to find them!” concluded the other one.

“Okay, I won’t let you down.”


That day, Derek was going back to Stuart House after soccer practice and he noticed three suspicious men unloading a truck. The King of hearts approached the boxes, careful not to be seen and found out what they contained. He was very surprised, it had to have something to do with the Windors boys.

“What is wrong with them??” He thought, and went back to his dormitory.

Logan and Julian were bickering on the couch of the common room when Derek interrupted them “Lo, do you know if there’s something going on in Windsor House? Have you heard anything strange at the Warblers’ meeting?”

“No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“What are they up to this time?” asked Julian.

Derek told them what he saw, “Uhm this can’t be good” Logan said.

In that moment something freezing, sticky and blue hit the prefect’s face.

The twins had magically appeared from the window, shouting: “Chill out, Knave!!!”.

Julian started laughing his ass out at the sight of Logan covered in blue ice, while Derek stood speechless, staring at the blond’s face: his half-stunned, half-furious expression was priceless.

The Brightmans vanished as quickly as they had appeared, victoriously.

“This means just one thing: WAR!” declared Logan.

“You should take a shower first” suggested Julian, still laughing.

“They have to pay for this! We need red slushies!” Derek said. “Is it possible that Amos never manages to stop them?!?!?”

“They’re humanly unstoppable. Maybe Houston is right, they really are demons” answered Logan before heading to his room.

“Wait, Lo! Can I take a picture before you wash it all off??”

“Fuck off, Jules!”



In the meantime Windosor House was a battlefield.

The Tweedles were chasing after Reed, slushies in hand, who was chasing after Kurt and Blaine for protection. Wes and David were hiding behind the couches of the common room slushing each other, while Charlie was trying to calm Dwight down. The guy, in fact, had tried to exorcise all the other boys by replacing ice with salt and holy water.

“I’m telling you, this is a sign! They’re trying to break the last seal! The apocalypse is near and Castiel won’t even answer my prayers!” Dwight screamed, desperate.

“Oh dear God!!!” Charlie was running out of patience.

“Do you know where he’s hiding???”

The prefect ignored him and finally shouted “Boys! That’s it!”.

But Reed tripped over David, throwing the slushie he was carrying directly at him.

Silence fell upon the room.

Blaine and Kurt’s heads slowly popped from behind the door “Please Chaz, don’t get the bat!”

Then Wes said “Why don’t we stop slushing each other and go hunt the Stuarts down??”

In that very second the front door burst open, revealing the Stuart boys carrying dozens of red slushies as if they were weapons. Behind them a very nervous Bailey kept saying “I tried to stop them! I swear!”.

In the front stood the Stuart trio, Larson wearing an helmet.

The twins stared at him and asked “Cheshire cat, you’re such a coward. Why are you wearing an helmet??”

“I have a photoshoot tonight” replied the actor, quite annoyed. Derek muttered in coughs “Diva.”

“Not now!” Logan replied glaring at his two friends.

There was a moment of silence, both groups studied their enemies, then the Tweedles yelled “ATTACK!!!” and the battle began.


After a couple of hours both sides ran out of supplies so the war eventually ended up with a tie.

Windsor House was a complete disaster. It would have taken ages to clean everything up, that’s why Charlie was sitting on what used to be a couch, face in his hands, cursing under his breath.

Reed had almost drowned in a pool of melting ice while Julian was hysterical about his hair which was a mess because David managed to take his helmet off. Derek was texting one of his many girlfriends explaining that he would have been late for that night, Logan was staring jealously at Blaine who was taking the ice off Kurt’s uniform. Wes and David were lying exhausted on the floor, and Dwight was hiding under a table with a cross in his hands.

Nobody was expecting a teacher to find out about their battle, so they were all very surprised to see Murdoch walking through the front door, looking for his boys, with a look of horror on his face.


The boys started talking all together, everyone with a different explanation, but Logan was the only one who caught his attention “It was self defense! They started it!” said the prefect pointing at the Brightmans.

“Is that so? Then they will be the ones to clean this all up. I will immediately inform Harvey.”

The Stuart boys triumphantly ran out of the enemies’ house with big grins on their faces, and Murdoch followed them.

The Windors looked at each other in disappointment, and then the twins finally stated “Hold on guys, revenge is a dish best served cold. They’ll get what they deserve!”.

*We do not own any of these characters, they belong to Glee and CP Coulter.*